Series 1, Episode 7 (with Ian Hislop) 1990
KNOWN AS:
Sharp-witted
barrister turned talk show host, also presented Channel 4's long-running improv
show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and BBC2 political quiz "If I
Ruled The World".
INTRODUCTION:
No
details of his first appearance; second time round, Angus said he was used to
being in the company of slobs and halfwits, as he supports Arsenal; no intros
for his third or fourth appearances; on his fifth appearance, Angus said
Anderson was a talk show host who started his career on a minority channel, so
welcome back.
BEST QUOTE:
When he gave soft drinks manufacturer Schweppes a plug, he added: "I think they're very good - and let's see who gets a crate of it delivered in time for Christmas tomorrow."
ANECDOTES:
Told
of how Ian is in and out of the law courts so much that there is a revolving
door there known as "Ye Hislop's Entrance".
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Was
called "rude" and "vulgar" by fellow guest Harry Enfield.
Paul used the luxury of a show's repeat to tempt fate that Anderson would
be knocked down by a car before the broadcast.
He was also told by guest and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan that the
next time photographers were sent round to Anderson's house, he wouldn't see
them. Anderson also vehemently had
to defend his fellow Arsenal fans during the week they had rioted with
Galatasary fans before the UEFA Cup final.
Angus even managed to point the finger at Clive as one of the thugs
during a monologue.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Regularly
used the well-known Anderson habit of laughing at his jokes before anyone else
does. With Ian, he also managed to
totally humiliate Morgan with a barrage of awkward questions.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
The
wit of Anderson is universally renowned and admired and no more so has it been
apparent than during his appearances on this show.
The Christmas special of 1991 - the only episode to extend beyond the
regulation half-hour - was a brilliant programme, with all four participants on
tip-top form and Anderson was simply an absolute star, loaded with gags, sarcasm
and acidic comments. He gets his fair share of ribbing but that goes with the
territory as far as Anderson is concerned and to have him in as an acting
captain when Paul took a break was a great decision, while his fifth and final
appearance was not as instantly memorable, mainly because he found himself
trying to defend Arsenal fans who had been rioting and subsequently the
conversation got almost serious, though being Clive Anderson, he soon returned
to the gags. He is a genuine star.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Unable to score his first appearance; nine and a half;
eight and a half; nine; eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
As frequently as possible. He is one of those guests who is always bang on form.
KNOWN AS:
Comedy
actress who was a regular alongside Angus in satellite TV satire series
"KYTV". Also starred as
Mrs Miggins in all six episodes of "Blackadder The Third" and
presented failed BBC1 fashion show "Style Trial".
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
quoted Atkinson-Wood as saying that if she could choose any nationality she
would be Italian, so as she was on Ian's team she may as well just surrender
straightaway.
BEST QUOTE:
When
fellow guest Sir Teddy Taylor, who had just announced his liking of Bob Marley,
asked her what she listened to in the car, she said: "I don't know - I
obviously don't have the same choice of hallucinogenic drugs that you do."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Moaned
at Ian that he was heckling her, even though they were on the same side, as she
tried to answer a question about the Beatles which he clearly knew nothing
about. Also managed to plug her
involvement in the Food & Drink programme, only for Angus to reply that they
would look forward to editing it out.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS: Nice
cleavage and wicked laugh. Other than that, nothing.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
This
turned into a bit of a damp squib for Atkinson-Wood, through no fault of her
own, as fellow guest Taylor completely dominated the show with his anti-Europe
ramblings. Her appearances on other shows prove that she is funny - it's
just that she rarely got the chance to show it this time round.
She knew the answers, and managed the odd swift comment, but that was
about it.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Six.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK?
Yes, as we know she is capable of far better things providing the other guest isn't quite so dominating.
KNOWN AS:
Intellectual,
laddish comedian who shot to fame on "The Mary Whitehouse Experience"
and later teamed up with Frank Skinner to host "Fantasy Football
League". Now also a successful
novelist.
INTRODUCTION: Angus
said he was both a comedian and a football fan - and to prove it, he supported
Chelsea.
BEST QUOTE:
On
a question about self-styled Messiah and ex-goalkeeper David Icke's broken hand
suffered in a football match, he said: "Presumably like all Messiahs he was
up there on the end of a cross."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
The
Icke comments offended Ian to an extent, who threatened to set fire to him.
Also looked embarrassed when he didn't realise the Archive round was a
"What Happened Next?" round, allowing the other team to get the
answer.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Baddiel
rarely sat up straight throughout the show, preferring instead to spend the
recording slouched down on his elbows.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
A
reasonable performance from one of the comedy pioneers of the 90s, though
Baddiel was regularly outwitted by Paul throughout the show and proved that, in
the main, he is better off with written material rather than having to think on
his feet.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
He has changed as a performer considerably since then and will probably do more homework before appearing if asked back, so maybe he is worth another shot. He would be well suited to Paul's team, as he could hold his own very easily in an intellectual argument with Ian, which is less likely to happen if the two classically-educated men are placed together.
KNOWN
AS: Bearded,
long-haired, deadpan performer who combines comedy with music.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
said he recently performed in front of 20,000 people at Glastonbury - or the
queue for the toilets, as it's better known.
BEST QUOTE:
The
very first thing he said - shown footage of Sean Connery attending an SNP
devolution rally, he said: "He's on the 'I live in Marbella, wife-slapping'
ticket."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Looked
a little worried, if not offended, when Angus quoted a professor who claimed
that men with facial hair were fraught with sexual problems.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Was
rather quiet for long periods of the show, not helped by the fact that a lot of
Angus's attention was aimed at fellow guest Trevor Phillips, a candidate for
Mayor of London.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Bailey
is a brilliant comic on stage, though despite coming up with a few killer lines
on his appearance, this was not one of the better performances from a comedian.
He was hindered by having a seriously on-form Paul alongside him and the
fact that Angus was very interested in grilling Trevor Phillips on the other
team, as was Ian. That said, a
comedian of Bailey's calibre should have imposed himself on proceedings more.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Six and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes, as long as the other guest isn't someone quite so topical that they take all the spotlight.
KNOWN
AS:
The longest-running actor to play "Doctor Who" - he played the sci-fi
hero for nearly ten years in the 70s and 80s.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus referred to Baker's book, entitled "Who on earth is Tom Baker?"
and added that they had now answered the question for him.
BEST QUOTE:
When Angus read the results of a pointless survey claiming that a large
percentage of young people drink too much at Christmas, Baker quipped:
"They don't miss anything do they?"
ANECDOTES:
Tons of them. Baker talked about his days as a monk, claiming he left
because the chastity left him with a stoop and that God had it in for him.
He also relayed stories about how he went to the Body Shop looking for
bonfire-scented soap because he wanted to smell like an ex-girlfriend; how he
was mistaken for former Education Minister Shirley Williams by a disgruntled
passer-by; and how old women would often try to "pull" him.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
He talked so much that he hardly gave anyone the opportunity to badger him.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Baker dominated the show completely, with the three residents totally
overshadowed by his performance and the fascinating stories he told of his life
and career. Answering the questions was less of a priority, though when
pressed, he did so. As a very tall and bulky man, he forced the comment
from Paul that Ian looked about nine years old when the two sat together.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Baker's appearance was one of those which is very much down to the individual
viewer as to whether it was fun or not. He was funny, fascinating,
eloquent, well-spoken and utterly charming, yet in spite of all this, he hardly
let anyone else get a meaningful word in edgeways.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Nine. We loved him.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes. There are more anecdotes to prise out of him. Let's hope,
however, that the other guest can be equally as talkative.
KNOWN
AS:
Actor and comedian in the hit BBC2 Asian show "Goodness Gracious Me".
INTRODUCTION:
Angus said Bhaskar had just completed a three-hour documentary on the Kama Sutra
but they had managed to wipe the smile off his face by putting him on Ian's
team.
BEST QUOTE:
Asked by Paul which positions in the Kama Sutra were the most difficult to do,
Bhaskar replied: "The ones on your own."
ANECDOTES:
None of any note.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
None.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Bhaskar is an accomplished performer and acquitted himself triumphantly on the
show, even though the above assessment would suggest he was either too quiet or
just overpowered by the others on show. This is not the case, as he answered the
questions competently, did his research, chucked in a few good lines and was
open to discussing his work on the Kama Sutra. The whole episode was well shared
out among the four competitors, with fellow guest Matthew Collings also doing
his bit, but the lack of decent news stories made it not of the highest quality,
with all involved blameless. Bhaskar, however, threw in his input in no
uncertain terms.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Seven and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes.
KNOWN
AS:
Character satirist and actor who, with performing partner John Fortune, appears
on Rory Bremner's TV shows.
INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said he was a satirist named John who started at the
Establishment Club in the early 60s and now appears on the Rory Bremner show
(like fellow guest and comedy partner John Fortune); on his second appearance,
Angus introduced he and John Fortune together as two comedians whose satirical
outpourings late night on Channel 4 have brought pleasure and delight to
literally dozens.
BEST QUOTE:
"Anyone can get on a QUANGO providing they are intimate with a Tory MP, so
that rules out Norma Major."
ANECDOTES:
He made a swift revelation that compared to the BBC, the wages for Channel 4
performers are poor, while he and Fortune also confirmed that they appeared on
the pilot for "That Was The Week That Was" but didn't get on the
actual series.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Fellow guest Richard Wilson accused him of rambling incoherently because he
didn't know the answer to a question, which in fact he did.
Wilson also told them they should watch Rory Bremner, as he 'does you two
very well'.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Played constantly with his spectacles when he wasn't wearing them to observe
film footage or read headlines.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Bird and Fortune's parodied interviews and other sketches have earned them
national acclaim, even from the political figures whom they ridicule, so it's
clear that Bird is a master of his art and he proved it with an impressive array
of observations, mainly on political matters.
Swift, sharp, uncompromising and subtle in his witticisms, he proved a
terrific guest and in his first appearance, just shaded ahead of Fortune in
terms of humour, though obviously they weren't competing against one another in
that sense.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Nine and eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes.
KNOWN
AS:
Wisecracking comedian and rapper.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus said that according to the Daily Star, Blackwood couldn't go anywhere
without being hounded by hordes of screaming fans, though they were obviously
busy tonight.
BEST QUOTE:
On Ian's comic attempts to pick up Blackwood's cool lingo, he said: "He'll
go home to his wife - 'Yo bitch'!" Ian replied: "Can't see that going
down awfully well!"
ANECDOTES:
Told of how he caused a stir when he called the Queen a bitch, though was quick
to point out that he merely said 'the bitch looks bored' on banknotes, and had a
lot of love for the Queen really.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Angus and Ian had a good titter over Blackwood's attempts to answer a question
about Peter Mandelson, with Ian huffily adding: "Current affairs is...is
difficult!" Fellow guest John Simpson also asked him if he fancied a job
hosting the BBC's new ten o'clock news.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Corpsed quite a few times, particularly when Ian took the black guy's patter gag
a step further and started doing the gestures too.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Blackwood certainly seemed to enjoy himself, and his guesting came at a good
time as he was really gaining a reputation as one of the brightest new talents
in comedy. It didn't really show, in truth. He had his moments, but was found
lacking considerably in quick wit and spawned most of his laughs from initiating
the patter and gesture stuff which Ian, playing on his 'untrendy and proud of
it' image, then took to brilliant extremes. Went round the houses in answering
some of the questions, but took the ribbing superbly and applauded wildly on a
lot of occasions when someone else cracked a decent gag. Not great, but not
woeful either.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Seven.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Probably not.
KNOWN AS: Welsh actor who often plays himself in films.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
said that just to prove the show takes Welsh issues seriously, here was a man
who was famous for carrying a leek and shouting 'Oggy oggy oggy'.
BEST QUOTE:
None.
ANECDOTES:
None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Possesses
one of the most memorable and unique laughs ever heard on the show.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Although
he wasn't totally breathtaking in a so-called 'devolution special' (SNP leader
Alex Salmond was the other guest) Boyce performed reasonably well considering
the issues of self-governing in Scotland have always been deemed more newsworthy
when compared with those of Wales. Had he made his views known on the issue of
the Welsh Assembly - we never did find out if he was pro-UK or not - it may have
given him more scope to vent his opinions on the way the union was being
delicately broken up. The Scotsman on the opposite team was a high-profile
nationalist and as a result got more attention from the regulars, which Boyce
could have equalled had he bared his soul a little more. But he answered the
questions well (taking enormous delight in a screening of John Redwood's pitiful
attempt to croon the Welsh anthem) and all in all, had a fun time.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Seven.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes,
but as himself, not as a token figure of a province. It's strange that a
high-profile Welsh guest was only invited when the devolution issue was front
page news. Maybe Shirley Bassey could be due a call...
KNOWN AS:
Biting
comedienne with lots of gags about men, cakes and sex.
Recently became the third person to host "Commercial Breakdown"
for BBC1.
INTRODUCTION:
First
time round, Angus said Brand shared a birthday with Heile Salassi and Michael
Foot, though he reckoned she didn't look that old; on her second appearance,
Angus quoted her as saying that men shouldn't be allowed out at night without a
responsible adult, so thank God she was there.
BEST QUOTE:
Comparing
her appearance on Terry Wogan's chat show with that of Cher, she said: "She
got 20 thousand pounds, I got 800; she got a new bum and I went down Kwik-Fit
and had one of my blackheads squeezed."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
She
took over from where Angus left off when Frank Bough was also a guest on the
show - Bough's colourful private life had been a favourite subject for Angus's
monologues but he left well alone when the man appeared.
Brand, however, didn't let it lie and said a picture of a woman's
stocking-clad legs could even have been the man himself.
Was a very dominating presence on the show, but also quite reserved in
comparison to the sort of performance her live act demands.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Brand
is a funny lady when given the opportunity and had, like all professional
comics, studied the news and arrived at the studio armed to the teeth with gags.
Yet her monotone and unaffected delivery meant she came across as totally
natural. She made ex-Labour leader
Neil Kinnock laugh like an idiot. Though
slightly cruel in bringing up Bough's past, she did so in a fashion which was
meant to be only goading, not humiliating.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK?
She has done two fine displays - could her growing public presence and familiarity make her capable of shocking again? Probably not, so best leave her on a high.
KNOWN AS:
Serial
impressionist with a gnawing satirical streak.
Has hosted a number of his own TV shows, and occasionally goes
"serious" as stand-in presenter on BBC1's Sunday morning issues show
"Breakfast With Frost".
INTRODUCTION:
First
time round, Angus called him a talented comedian and a witty raconteur, saying
there was no-one he couldn’t' impersonate; in his second appearance, Angus
compared him to Pamella Bordes, as he could slip into any politician at a
moment's notice.
BEST QUOTE:
On
a Europe question, he said: "I like the idea of Major giving Delors a good
talking to. (as Major) 'I'll give
you up to a considerable period of time'!"
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Bremner
is so renowned as an impressionist that he rarely gets to show he can be a
comedian while playing himself. On
both his appearances, he managed to do that as well as drop in his mimicry with
consummate skill.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
As
the foremost satirist now working on television, his re-appearance in due course
is both necessary and inevitable.
KNOWN AS:
Outstanding
actress, known for her variety of roles as a sidekick to Harry Enfield and the
BBC2 sitcom "Gimme Gimme Gimme".
Equally at home in dramatic parts, such as the award-winning film
"Nil By Mouth".
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
quoted her as saying that the more disgusting the character, the more she liked
them, which was why she was put on Ian's team.
BEST QUOTE:
Completed
the headline "ALL PENSIONERS GET_______" with "shat on".
ANECDOTES:
There
will not be a grain of truth in this, but Burke claimed to have written to
ex-Tory minister David Mellor as he was somewhat renowned for helping young,
aspiring actresses, adding that she wanted to get pregnant by him so she could
claim extra benefits.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
No.
However, her somewhat earthy and rambling delivery got a lot of laughter
from the audience and looks of sheer disbelief from Ian.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Fellow
guest Martin Young laughed at her so much he nearly fell off his chair at one
point.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Burke
is one of Britain's best-loved comedy actresses yet there was doubt as to how
funny she was when unscripted, as she has no history as a comedienne.
However, there was anything but a need to worry.
She was funny, charming, natural and humble, and her performance brought
the show down from the somewhat elitist pedestal which it can often sway into,
much to the delight of the core audience.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK?
It
is difficult to decipher whether she reached a peak with her one and only
appearance so far, so maybe it's best to leave us with the memories of that
awesome performance. Let her go out
on a high.
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