APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Outspoken
and angry American comedian and musician who also does an act as psychotic
country singer Otis Lee Crenshaw.
INTRODUCTION:
On
his first appearance, Angus quoted a review of Hall's act from the Washington
Post, which said: "The lousier he feels, the funnier he is", which was
why he had been put on Ian's team; second time round, Angus said Hall had
remained true to his roots in stand-up, saying he could be doing crap sitcoms as
a crank neighbour but where was the fun in that. Angus added: "Know the
feeling."
BEST QUOTE:
On
the American election ballot paper, Hall said: "It says 'Gore/Liebermann',
which sounds like a chant at a Jewish bullfight."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Ian
kept giving him wrong definitions of Britishisms which Hall didn't understand.
Although Hall could clearly tell Ian was joking, he still wrote them all down.
By the end of the show, Hall had learnt that SFO was a Colombian coffee, Gold
Blend was a sexual act and David Mellor was the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Fellow guest Rupert Allason remarked: "He's going to have a hell of a night
tonight, isn't he?"
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Hall
is anything but renowned for smiling, but he managed to do so on a couple of
occasions.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hall
did the business on his first appearance, playing the ignorant American
brilliantly as British names and expressions flew around him, and creating one
or two laughs of his own to get through the show as a guest of noteworthy but
not legendary impact. His return four years later, however, will go down in the
annals of the show's history as one of the truly memorable appearances, with his
observations on the utter fiasco over the election of a President back in his
homeland of immeasurably funny proportions. He had Ian in stitches as he
plundered through his take on the embarrassment occurring back in his homeland,
and that was more than enough to dominate the episode, even though he had less
to say as it wore on due to the rest of the show being, understandably, based on
British events. A handful of Americans have appeared on the programme, but none
of them hold a candle to this man. Absolutely top drawer.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight; nine and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? Regularly.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Sharp-tongued comedian and host of sports panel quiz
"They Think It's All Over" and celeb-analysis show "You Only Live
Once", also formerly of horror-chamber show "Room 101".
Has also starred in a number of sitcoms, comedy dramas and commercials.
INTRODUCTION:
On his first appearance, Angus said you've seen
Airplane, Naked Gun, A Fish Called Wanda - well, Hancock had seen them too;
second time around, Angus referred to his part of "you" in sitcom
"Me, You & Him", which disappointed Hancock as he wanted to play
"him"; on his third appearance, Angus quoted Hancock as saying he
listed Twiglets and celery among his pet hates, so he was already in a bad mood
after an hour in BBC hospitality.
BEST QUOTE:
During
an Odd One Out round, Hancock said: "They've all written books except Tony
Adams, who has never even read a book. Or even coloured one in."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? After cracking one dodgy joke, Ian took the mickey by
telling the audience that Hancock would soon be "personally bankrupt".
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Seemed much more comfortable when sitting alongside
Ian, as he could get the gags in first. When
with Paul, he was beaten for speed of spontaneity every time.
Managed to pull off a neat trick by getting applause for using the same
gag twice in separate episodes when, in an Odd One Out round which featured
Arsenal defender Tony Adams, he claimed the footballer was the odd one as
"the other three all understand the offside law".
(This was revealed during an episode of "Room 101" - when he
did the gag second time round, it was edited out).
When Angus introduced him second time round, he got the name of the
sitcom wrong (he called it "You, Me & Him") but Hancock didn't
correct him.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hancock
has a brilliant comic delivery but like many comics, is best when working with
written material rather than fishing for razor-sharp spontaneity, though he did
contribute to a fantastic Missing Words round in his first appearance.
He coped well in his first and third appearances when paired with Ian,
and only slipped up when paired with Paul, who was so quick that day that
Hancock spent most of the time laughing.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and a half for his first appearance; six for his
second; eight for his third.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? If his increasing work schedule allows
him to make another appearance, then yes. He is always good for a few cutting
gags.
KNOWN AS:
One of the UK's best-loved actresses, who starred in
"The Rag Trade” in the 1960s and has a number of top theatre, drama and
film credits to her name, though perhaps is sadly best known as one of the
actresses cast in the sitcom "Brighton Belles", the doomed attempt to
re-create "The Golden Girls.”
Married to actor John Thaw.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus quoted Hancock as saying that in her profession,
women of her age are generally ignored - and on Paul Merton's team...
BEST QUOTE:
When Angus asked 17 year old fellow guest Robert Reed
what his favourite game was, Hancock snapped: "Oh, that's very patronising,
Andrew."
ANECDOTES:
While discussing the sale of Rover cars, Hancock told
of how she traded in an elegant Morgan car for a more practical Rover but never
felt comfortable in it, so now she drove a Jaguar.
She also revealed that she had been studying an Open University degree
for quite some time, but had made rather scant progress.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
She looked so embarrassed when Angus asked, during a
spoof version of "University Challenge", what the name of her
character was in "Carry On Cleo", moaning in shame and burying her
head in her hands.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS: She accidentally called Angus "Andrew”
in the opening round, hence her deliberate use of the name in the above
quote to add more bite to her rebuke of the host.
Paul decided to call Angus by his new name for the rest of the show, and
carried it on a further week. She
was backed up by Paul who slammed Angus for asking a trick schoolboy question
during the spoof "University Challenge", adding: "You've dragged
Sheila Hancock all the way here for that? She's a respected actress!"
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER: Hancock understood the show very well indeed, taking
what opportunity she could to crack a joke while still realising that the three
regulars would dominate the programme. Furthermore,
her knowledge of what worked on the show was good enough to let her dip with
detail into anecdotes about her life, and she was not above putting herself down
or taking a joke at her expense. She
was never outstandingly amusing but the news week was quite poor, and many eyes
were on the 17 year old schoolboy sitting opposite, so it wasn't of her own
doing. But when opportunity did
arise, she raised quite a few giggles and came away with plenty to be pleased
about.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK? Good value guests like Hancock are proving hard to
come by, so she should be kept on the retained list.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Consummate comedian who evades real social issues,
preferring to get laughs from the frivolous things in life. Hosted the
advertising quiz "The Best Show In The World...Probably" and was
resident comic on panel game "The Brain Drain". Had a huge hit in 1988
as Morris Minor & The Majors with "Stutter Rap" and wrote the
infamous advertising song "Butterkist Butterkist Ra Ra Ra".
INTRODUCTION:
On his first appearance, Angus mentioned that Hawks
gave up a promising tennis career to be a comedian, so no change there; second
time round Angus claimed Hawks agreed to be a last-minute guest on the condition
he got a nice shirt to wear, but they refused; on his third appearance, Angus
said Hawks won the actors' union tennis championship although he was taken to a
tie-break in the fourth set by Dame Thora Hird.
BEST QUOTE:
On
round-the-world walker Ffyona Campbell having sex during her journey, he said:
"She got pregnant by a back-up driver. He must have just misunderstood what
'back-up' meant.
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Ian said that his answer to an Odd One Out round, a
rather convoluted theory about wings, was one of the worst answers he had ever
heard.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Hawks
has a permanent cheeky grin. No matter what subject the show was focusing on,
the smile never disappeared. He also talks to the studio audience rather than
the rest of the panel, particularly when about to deliver his own punchline to a
story.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hawks
has genuine wit and his stand-up act is a refreshing look at life against all
the angry, politically-motivated comics of his genre. However, although he got a
few funny lines in, he struggled a little on the show initially, falling to the
task of having to beat Paul to gags when the two were paired together. His best
appearance was certainly his last, within a terrific episode close to classic
status
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight, seven, and nine.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? There's always a chance that a comic
of Hawks' calibre will have a field day if the news stories are good enough, so
he's worth another stab.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Brilliant comedienne with
utterly innocent delivery, also played computer Holly in cult BBC sci-fi sitcom
"Red Dwarf".
INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said that ever since she played a computer in "Red
Dwarf" she had been inundated with love letters from Amstrads everywhere;
on her second appearance, Angus said she made her name in "Red Dwarf"
playing a computer, a part she prepared for by sitting for six months in the
window at Dixon's.
BEST QUOTE:
When Ian remarked that Madonna
wasn't terribly celibate, Hayridge replied: "Except when you're
around."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Hayridge has a very minimalist
approach in her stand-up act, which often came across during her first
appearance - for example, when she answered one question with "the
Budget", Angus asked her to elaborate and she refused as it had already
been done. Hayridge also has a
rather irritating laugh, but she comes across as so natural and genuine that
we'll forgive her. Two very
different hairstyles in her two appearances as well.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hayridge's comedy is based on
the obscure and the very silly with little in terms of topical or political
material, yet she had a knack during her first appearance of making sound
political jokes in what was a very big Parliamentary week in the news.
She had Ian in stitches a couple of times and behind the naive and fluffy
frontage beats the heart of a very cutting and consummate humorist.
She knew her stuff. And she
is also responsible for one of the best captions ever put forward in the Caption
Competition. Such a shame,
therefore, that she failed to even come close to those standards on her second
appearance, though that was probably more down to a dreadful news week and the
presence of the fascinating Warren Mitchell on the other team.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and six.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK? No.
She's done her bit.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
One
of Holland's top stand-up comedians, and a team captain on the Dutch version of
the show.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
said Heertje was described in an Amsterdam newspaper as 'the best circumcised
comedian in Holland' and tonight he will prove that - the comedian bit.
BEST QUOTE:
On a
permanently unsettled Dutch political party for pensioners, he said: "The
problem is they are really old so the leadership changes all the time."
ANECDOTES:
None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Absolutely
fluent in English. He actually spoke better English than other guests from the
British Isles have done on the show. However,
he was unafraid to answer one question in Dutch, which Angus failed to
understand. Clearly Dutch wasn't a
language he studied at university. He
wore a shocking pink shirt - not sure even Paul would have done that.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Heertje
is clearly a very funny man - being able to crack jokes and get appreciation for
it in one language is one thing, but he managed it in another tongue to great
effect and made everyone in the studio laugh.
He answered the questions superbly and got on well with Paul.
Clearly he was a risk - it was, however, a risk that paid off
spectacularly. If he's as good in
his native lingo on the Dutch show as he was on a foreign version, then the
Amsterdam version must be superb.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Nine.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
They probably won't, but he's definitely worth another go.
APPEARED:
KNOWN
AS:
Sharp, boyish comedian, also captained a team on Channel 5 comedy quiz
"Bring Me The Head Of Light Entertainment."
INTRODUCTION:
On his first appearance, Angus said Holland had just appeared on Channel 5's
leading comedy show and then went home to watch himself on video, thereby
doubling their viewing figures at a stroke; second time round, Angus quoted
Holland as saying that in order to be successful in showbiz, you have to keep
banging away, which worked for Catherine Zeta Jones.
BEST QUOTE:
On Robin Cook's beard, he said: "If you've got red hair, you don't grow
more hair than you need, do you?"
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
When, after admitting he always had trouble picking up women, he complained that
he didn't get a laugh from the audience, Paul said it was because they could
understand why. Holland also apologised for making a joke about squid taking
driving tests, as it led to a long argumentative debate between Angus and Paul
over the pros and cons of getting a squid behind the wheel.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS: None.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Holland
was lively, sharp, humble, charming, informative, entertaining and had the right
sort of guile to know how he would be best equipped to perform on the show.
On occasions, he had Ian in stitches and, like many comics of his ilk, he also
had a nice knack
of being able to make scathing comments while looking like he didn't believe a
word he was saying. Holland also has a cheek and an innocence about him
which makes him appealing. His second appearance made him the funniest
guest of Series 19, which when you consider Stephen Fry had appeared the week
before, is no mean achievement.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: eight and a half; nine and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? Without a doubt.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Co-writer
and co-star of Channel 4 sketch show "Absolutely".
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
just ran through Hunter's CV as star of "Absolutely" and "Mr Don
& Mr George" as it was "by way of contrast" - the other guest
already introduced was Hunter's writing and performing partner Jack Docherty.
BEST QUOTE:
In
an Odd One Out round with which everyone was struggling, Hunter said:
"Nigel "Short"; Mark "Little"; and is "Brundtland"
Norwegian for tiny?"
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Hunter
spent most of the time watching his team captain Paul go through a prolific set
of rambling monologues rather than make his own contribution.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
This
was an episode dominated by Ian's huge financial losses in the High Court that
week, therefore no-one else could really grab the show by the scruff of its
neck. Having said that. At least Docherty managed to throw in some decent lines
(admittedly sitting next to Ian helped) while his writing and performing partner
Hunter was much the quieter. A disappointing performance all in all, though not
entirely his own fault.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Five.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? He has enough comic pedigree to do
better, so yes.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Fast-talking
London comic who was a resident performer for many years on sports panel quiz
"They Think It's All Over". Also
created and hosted Channel 5 comedy quiz "Bring Me The Head Of Light
Entertainment".
INTRODUCTION:
First
time round, Angus said Hurst was unique among alternative comedians as his
Cockney accent was genuine; on his second appearance, Angus revealed that Hurst
used to be the warm-up comic for the show, but the tables had turned as he was
now a panellist and Teresa Gorman was the warm-up.
BEST QUOTE:
On
Government plans to privatise the Post Office, Hurst said: "They're not
going to do it now because they know that if they sent out the share
certificates, they'd never arrive."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Hurst
must have thought all his birthdays had come at once when he was asked to appear
in a week when match-fixing allegations in the world of football made the front
pages. He spent so much of his
first appearance cracking gags about being bribed to the tune of £2,000.
In his second appearance, he wanted to learn the libel laws from Ian in
order to really have a stab at Malcolm McLaren.
Hurst owns a brilliant laugh and is a very physical performer. He also tends to throw in a monosyllabic giggle straight
after a punchline.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hurst
is one of those comics who has no middle ground.
He is either a comic genius or humiliatingly unfunny, depending on your
point of view, yet his first appearance proved that some comics can be
devastating providing the ammunition is right.
With the match-fixing story breaking and the presence of Royal biographer
Andrew Morton across the desk, Hurst was in his full element and was simply
outstanding all the way through the show. Second
time round he was quieter, in a show which didn't have the same amount of fuel
sitting within the panel to stoke Hurst's fire, but he still didn't disappoint.
Ian clearly enjoyed having him there.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine; eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Yes. If the news stories are right, then there are few better comics around to guarantee the laughs.
APPEARED:
KNOWN
AS:
Sheffield-born
comic who hosted the BBC Radio 1 comedy singing game "Songlines" and
was a regular guest on the same radio station's comedy debating show "Loose
Talk".
INTRODUCTION:
Angus
said Hurst used to work in a tuning fork factory and was the first person to be
arrested for trying to sell 'E' to rock musicians.
BEST QUOTE: "In boxing - all you get if you win is a huge
purse!"
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS: None.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Hurst
is one of the Webmaster's favourite comics (his routine about punctuation in
speech still raises a titter after all this time) but he was hugely
disappointing and alarmingly quiet in an episode where the dominant force was
fellow guest Francis Wheen. Hurst managed the odd dry remark and used his
familiar cheesy smile to reasonable effect, but thanks to Ian, Paul and the
always-brilliant Wheen, he rarely got a look-in.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Five.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
He specialises in silly-season style observations as opposed to heavier political stuff, so he is more than worthy of a return providing it isn't a heavy news week.
APPEARED:
KNOWN
AS:
Rambling
transvestite comedian who famously got international stardom despite a
reluctance to appear on TV. Now one of the world's most successful comics who
has also branched out into stage and screen acting.
INTRODUCTION:
First
time round
Angus said Izzard didn't perform on TV because he only wanted a small number of
people to see his act, so as the other guest was Jonathan Ross, added that
Izzard should have gone on "Saturday Zoo";
on his second appearance, Angus quoted Izzard as reluctant to appear on
television, a point he will emphasise tonight as he did on "Clive Anderson
Talks Back", "Ruby Wax" and "Just For Laughs"; no
intros for his third, fourth or fifth appearances.
BEST QUOTE:
Completed
the headline ‘_____ COULD BE STICKY FOR CHARLES’ with
"re-entering".
ANECDOTES:
Told
of how, like guest Fred MacAulay, that he studied accountancy at university but
didn't take his exams, prompting Ian to announce that he was surrounded by
failed accountants.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Ian
moaned that Izzard's rambling answers were incorrect, despite the fact that
Angus felt them worthy of gaining points. He was sometimes ribbed by Ian over
his bizarre theories and idiosyncrasies but it didn't provoke a reaction.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Though
his passion for wearing dresses is well-known, he appeared in men's clothing on
the show, though indulged in a lot of make-up. He is also a rare breed in
correcting Angus's intro for his second appearance, and the only guest ever to
come up with an instant suggestion in the Caption Competition, as opposed to the
usual practice of waiting until the end of the show. During his three episodes
as guest captain, he kicked up a stink about getting impossible Odd One Out
questions, and enjoyed celebrating getting answers right by throwing his pen
around. He also briefly managed to con Angus by claiming he had given a correct
answer to a Missing Words headline when he hadn't, causing him to smirk behind
his arm when the host agreed to give him the points. The audience's reaction
forced Angus to double check with him.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Izzard
is a comedian of the very highest quality though in a way which is impossible to
copy or master unless you are born with it. His stammerings, digressions and
totally implausible answers (an example being his famous assertion that someone
was the Odd One Out because the others were made of jam) were downright
hysterical and he seemed to enjoy himself, including his time as a guest captain
which, by his standards, was tantamount to over-exposure. A terrific asset to
the show whenever he appeared and unafraid to out-manoeuvre Paul when it came to
going off on a tangent, he proved the most capable guest captain when Paul took
his sabbatical. Or at least, he was the one most capable of getting the laughs,
as opposed to equaling Paul's flair in answering the questions.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight; eight; eight and a half; nine; eight.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
He is in constant demand around the world now as he makes the most of his success as a stand-up, so if they can find time for him, definitely. The viewing figures would increase when he appears again.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Co-writer and co-star of Channel 4 sketch show
"Absolutely". He was also
the original co-host with Anthea Turner on the BBC's National Lottery Show and
presented Channel 4 sports debate programme "The Greatest".
INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said Kennedy was a former presenter of the National Lottery show where the odds of winning were 14 million to one, much as the same as tonight as he was on Ian's team; on his second appearance, Angus described Kennedy as 'the man who Mystic Meg predicted would never leave the National Lottery'.
BEST QUOTE:
On the world's oldest woman's smoking habit, Kennedy
said: "She gave up when she was 105 - bored because it wasn't killing
her."
ANECDOTES: None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
He
got some light fun-poking as an original host of the National Lottery show, but
all the real ridicule in his first appearance was aimed at fellow guest Paula
Yates. As he was no longer in that job by his second appearance (hence Angus's
intro), the jibes stopped.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS: Made sure he stayed well out of the way when Ian
started his campaign against Yates. Yet conversely, he got rather passionate
about winning when he next appeared, with the slightly less controversial Elvis
Costello on the opposing team.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Kennedy
is intelligent, amusing and sharp, but rarely did he get the chance to show it
first time round, realising that nothing he could say or do could ever be as
entertaining as the verbal bout going on between his team captain and
Yates. Until the spat broke out, Kennedy had proved a very useful and
capable guest, but he knew when to keep quiet and he made the right decision to
take a back seat. His second appearance was vastly better, in which his comic
capabilities were well tested and he came through them well. A decent and
occasionally spectacular guest.
MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven; eight and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
There isn't a good reason why they shouldn't, although he is now out of the public gaze.
APPEARED:
KNOWN AS:
Ulster
comedian who hosted BBC1's lottery-based "Big Ticket Show" and went on
to present his own late night chat show on the same channel.
INTRODUCTION:
Angus said Kielty was a comedian who had discovered a mathematically flawless
method of making money from the National Lottery, as he presented it each week.
BEST QUOTE:
On the Northern Ireland peace process, Kielty said: "Bill Clinton is going
to tie the whole thing up. He's
going to come over and sort it out because he's got a lot in common with the
people of Northern Ireland, as 69 was the start of our troubles as well."
ANECDOTES:
None.
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Jokes were cracked at the expense of his friend and Lottery co-host Anthea
Turner, who was going through marriage difficulties at the time, but although he
took a few sharp intakes of breath, he said nothing.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
None.
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Kielty struggled a little but it wasn't his fault. The other guest was ex-Millennium Dome supremo Stephen Bayley
and much of the questions were directed at him and corresponding Millennium
projects, so he took a lot of the limelight as a result, particularly as he
insisted on rambling on in a snooty and highbrow manner rather than answering
the questions and getting on with the game.
But Kielty still managed to take his rare opportunities for making a
contribution more than adequately, with some good lines and a nice patter with
Ian, and presumably guessed that he would hear one or two gags about Anthea
Turner, who was all over the papers that week.
He took them well and emerged from the show undisgraced, but probably
feeling that with a less talkative fellow guest, he could have made a bigger
impact.
MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Seven and a half.
SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
Absolutely,
providing the other guest doesn't love the sound of his or her voice too much.
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