APPEARED: 

• Series 6, Episode 8 (with Ian Hislop) 1993

• Series 7, Episode 6 (with Ian Hislop) 1994

• Series 12, Episode 4 (with Ian Hislop) 1996

• Series 13, Episode 4 (with Ian Hislop) 1997

KNOWN AS:
Outstanding actress who is in constant demand on stage and screen, yet is perhaps most fondly remembered for her BT ads.

INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus quoted Lipman as saying her favourite word was 'mercurial', which was ironic for someone who advertised BT for so long; on her second appearance, Angus said Lipman's favourite journey was travelling on a bus over Waterloo Bridge, which was handy as that was how all the guests were sent home; third time round, Angus said Lipman described herself as a pessimist who always fears things will end in disaster, so she was on the right team; on her fourth appearance, Angus said recently wrote and performed her own one-woman show, which was a great experience, although the cast party was a bit of an anti-climax.

BEST QUOTE:
When teased about pantomime roles, she slapped her thigh and replied: "I do declare that the King's balls get bigger every year!"

ANECDOTES: None.

GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Was very keen to answer the questions and seemed to be enjoying a quiet, uncontroversial flirtation with Ian.  Corpsed completely when Paul told a story about how he offered to direct a play for an actor who was being overly-pompous about whom he should choose for the role.  Lipman also did wonderfully well not to be totally obliterated from her final appearance when all the attention was being paid to the Hamiltons on the other side.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
A wonderful comedy actress, Lipman proved she could be as funny naturally as she was working with a script.  She did star in arguably the worst episode the show has ever seen when she made her debut, but that wasn't down to her, more down to the lack of great news stories and an off-day for Paul.  However, she bounced back in style and became a terrific guest, and will be long remembered by ardent fans for her tear-wiping laughter at the total inability of crusty Conservative MP Rhodes Boyson to get the joke.  She also brilliantly pulled off the hardest guest appearance in the show's history, when she actively took part in the infamous episode featuring Neil and Christine Hamilton.  Many a lesser guest would have been totally overshadowed.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven; nine; eight; eight and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK?
Yes, though keep placing her with Ian.  Those two seem to get on well, which helps the humour of the show.

APPEARED: 

• Series 10, Episode 8 (with Paul Merton) 1995

• Series 12, Episode 3 (with Ian Hislop) 1996

KNOWN AS:
Eccentric Australian actor and comedian who shot to fame playing Joe Mangel in "Neighbours".  Later hosted Channel 4's "The Big Breakfast" and now concentrates on touring the comedy circuit.

INTRODUCTION:
On his first appearance, Angus said that as the host of "The Big Breakfast", Little had managed to achieve the impossible in leaving "Neighbours" and going down-market; second time round, Angus said Little was an actor and performer who was classically trained, unfortunately though he was classically trained as a toolfitter.

BEST QUOTE:
When Angus and Paul had a row about whether 'lavatory' or 'toilet' was the right word to use, Little piped in with: "Is that like a dunny?"

ANECDOTES: None.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Felt it necessary to defend his Prime Minister, Paul Keating, over his infamous manhandling of the Queen during a state visit to Australia.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Rarely does Ian, with his first-class English degree, need to find out the definition of a word, but he had to question what 'toey' meant when Little used it during an answer. Little replied that it meant 'tense' only to later say it also meant 'keen'. Appeared with a regulation spiky haircut first time round, which had altered to shaved head and bumfluff beard by the time he made his return.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Little was completely overpowered in his first appearance, rarely choosing to make any great contribution to the show, possibly because he was hoping the presence of Colin the Parrot behind him would raise a few laughs.  He wasn't helped by the fact that he was paired with Paul, as the two have a similar rambling, spontaneous form of comedy and Paul was obviously more in touch with what was required. He fared better in his second guesting, though the presence of Lord Lawson opposite, whom Angus and Ian were anxious to grill, meant he was a little left out again. Could do better and in the right circumstances, he would.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Six; seven and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
He is capable of complete domination and first-class improvisation when the mood takes him, so definitely.

APPEARED:  

• Series 16, Episode 3 (with Ian Hislop) 1998

KNOWN AS: Veteran American comedian and raconteur.

INTRODUCTION:
Angus said Mason was the Queen Mother's favourite laughter-maker, apart from Gordon's Gin.

BEST QUOTE:
On Clinton's womanising: "He's gotten more popular every time he does it. When he got the first girl he was 59 per cent in the polls. Then he played around with another - 62 per cent. He fooled around with another girl - 65 per cent. If he fools around with one more girl he'll become the Emperor of Japan."

ANECDOTES:
Told of how he supported a candidate for New York mayor on the grounds that he was a good law and order man.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
He liked Paul, which is a huge compliment to Paul. Yet he was also quick to criticise the show and its host when he got confused about the format and the Britishisms. Accused the show of making him look a 'schmuck' when he pleaded for Peter Mandelson's private life to be kept private, only to then hear a clip from Gordon Brown stating that people have a right to know what goes on in the lives of Cabinet Ministers.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
An international pillar of respect, Mason was fantastic, as you would expect of a man of his stature, although he did have his quiet spells, which is understandable as this was the episode which was dominated by discussion on Peter Mandelson which an American comic who had only flown in that day could not be expected to know much about. But it was a great coup getting him on the show and he didn't disappoint, with Ian at times looking a little in awe of him, which is understandable.

MARKS OUT OF TEN:  Eight and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?  Yes.

APPEARED: 

• Series 9, Episode 5 (with Ian Hislop) 1995

• Series 11, Episode 5 (with Ian Hislop) 1996

• Series 13, Episode 1 (with Ian Hislop) 1997

KNOWN AS:
Satirical comedian who recently teamed up with footballer Ally McCoist for a BBC1 chat show "McCoist & MacAulay".  Presents the breakfast show on BBC Radio Scotland

INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said MacAulay once presented a show called "Naked Radio", which thankfully never made the transition to television; on his second appearance, Angus revealed that MacAulay was a qualified accountant, so they had already sent 25 per cent of his fee to the Inland Revenue; third time round, Angus said MacAulay was a top Channel 5 comedian, so apologies to the 40 per cent of viewers who couldn't see him at the moment.

BEST QUOTE:
On Sinn Fein's wooing of the United States, MacAulay said: "They only let Gerry Adams into America because they thought he was Grizzly's little cousin."

ANECDOTES: Admitted that he actually failed his accountancy exams.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?

He looked slightly embarrassed during a round about soap operas when he realised he was the only one of the four panellists who actually watched the soaps.  Ian also wished him 'good luck in court' after MacAulay said he didn't believe something which Tory MP Sebastian Coe had said.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
MacAulay was the other guest when Germaine Greer had her famous 'f**k-me shoes' debate with Ian, and he sensibly stayed well out of it.  He also twice did a quite outstanding impression of a squealing pig.  He also brilliantly pointed out to a moaning Ian that perhaps Paul won every week because he was 'quite good at the game'.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
MacAulay is a consummate comedian and has a knack of saying controversial things with impact while at the same time giving the impression he doesn't truly believe a word of what he has just said.  That's a handy trait to have, and he used to it devastating effect in his first appearance, in which he did brilliantly not to be outshone by the spat between Germaine Greer and Ian.  A terrific guest.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine; eight; eight.

APPEARED:

• Series 6, Episode 7 (with Ian Hislop) 1993

KNOWN AS: 

Ubiquitous comedy actress with a variety of supporting roles.

INTRODUCTION: 

Angus said she had recently appeared in a production called "The Oblivion Boys Have A Night Of Raw Sex With Fluffy Girlies" and added that the fee was £200, as that was all she could afford.

BEST QUOTE: 

Confronted with a photo of a man with three sink plungers attached to his head, she responded with the caption: "Latest British satellite."

ANECDOTES: 

Amazingly admitted, without any cajoling, that she called her 'front bottom' as she put it, a "Musical Mary" when she was a little girl. She quickly corrected herself to just "Mary" but by then Paul had leapt in with "I was going to say - if it had been musical you should have gone on 'Opportunity Knocks'."

GIVEN A HARD TIME?  

Was mildly embarrassed about the needless "Musical Mary" comment, particularly when Ian had a go at her for calling her private parts "a front bottom".

OTHER OBSERVATIONS: 

Was very giggly throughout the show and did a good job in answering the questions. Has a very upper-crust, clear delivery which helped her timing on gags.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER: 

McErlane is a familiar face on TV without ever getting a starring role on the many shows in which she has appeared, so it maybe was a surprise that she was invited on. However, she did a reasonable job on what was not one of the more memorable episodes.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK?  Probably not, simply because she hasn't quite got enough impact.

APPEARED: 

• Series 1, Episode 6 (with Ian Hislop) 1990

• Series 2, Episode 3 (with Ian Hislop) 1991

• Series 3, Episode 5 (with Ian Hislop) 1992

KNOWN AS:

Comedian, writer and country & western musician, co-founder of the show's parent company Hat-Trick Productions and resident panellist of BBC1 comedy sports quiz "They Think It's All Over".  Also host of board-game adaptation quiz "Trivial Pursuit".

INTRODUCTION:

No details for his first appearance; second time round, Angus said McGrath was normally seen on TV pursuing trivia and asking obscure questions - in his role as host of "Right To Reply"; no details for his third appearance.

BEST QUOTE:

"London Transport commissioned a study to find out why buses were running late and it turned out it was because they kept stopping to let people on."

ANECDOTES: None.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?  No.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

A great plugger, managing as he did to plug "Trivial Pursuit" during his first appearance and his country & western show in Edinburgh during his third appearance.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

McGrath is a comedian of great expertise and has a likeable manly charm about him, in that he can crack jokes about risqué subjects without looking like he actually believes what he is saying.  His acceptable brand of crudeness was well demonstrated on the show, yet he also did his research and in the main, answered the questions reasonably well.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Unable to score his first appearance; eight; eight.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? 

His skills as a panellist are now nationally renowned after his long-time residency on "They Think It's All Over" so it would be a joy to have him back. 

APPEARED:

• Series 17, Episode 8 (with Ian Hislop) 1999

KNOWN AS:

Irish comedienne and actress who played accident-prone housekeeper Mrs Doyle in award-winning Channel 4 sitcom "Father Ted".

INTRODUCTION:

Angus said her previous job was working for a chiropodist who was a corn specialist, and therefore the same man who supplied the show's opening jokes.

BEST QUOTE:

Got explosive laughter when she dared to complete the headline "MARGARET COOK TAKES ______" with "it up the arse". Pleaded for the line to be cut out straightaway, but despite a false promise from Angus, it was broadcast.

ANECDOTES:

Told of how she got her first kiss shortly after eating a bag of cheese and onion crisps and added: "I tasted like a badger's arse."

GIVEN A HARD TIME? 

Not by others. Looked at her most embarrassed when she uttered that infamous phrase in the Missing Words round.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Another contestant who didn't stop smiling throughout the show, even when there was nothing specific to smile about. Ian seemed to enjoy having her alongside him.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

McLynn is a fine comedienne and performed brilliantly on the show, unafraid to break the odd taboo or put herself down in order to get laughs. She answered the questions thoroughly, and got the mixture of being funny and being knowledgeable just right. A terrific guest.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK? 

Absolutely. Few women have been prepared to be as outrageous as her on the show.

APPEARED:

• Series 3, Episode 2 (with Ian Hislop) 1992

• Series 7, Episode 8 (with Ian Hislop) 1994

KNOWN AS:

Outspoken comedienne who formed part of the original team on BBC Radio 1's "The Mary Whitehouse Experience", though had left the show by the time it moved to BBC2. Appeared regularly on the same radio station's comedy debate show "Loose Talk" and recently hosted a magazine show for BBC2.  Co-wrote the background dialogue on the successful Channel 4 comedy club show "Packet Of Three".

INTRODUCTION:

First time round, Angus said she was a comedienne, actress, writer, humorist, in fact the list....ended there; on her second appearance, Angus said she was currently the hit of the season on Radio 1, so in a few years time she would be opening supermarkets and playing golden oldies on Radio Trent.

BEST QUOTE:

In an Odd One Out round, she said Kate Adie was the odd one out because "she isn't on drugs, but she should have some!"

ANECDOTES: None.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?  No.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Has the scariest eyes in the world, which pop out whenever she laughs. Also seemed to deliver her lines as if they were part of her act in a rather unnatural but still funny way. Had the nerve to tell fatwa-haunted co-guest Salman Rushdie that he should "get out more".

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

McPhail is a classy comedienne and showed that despite being used to her own scripts, she could improvise with the best of them. She was particularly good at the Missing Words round but was very confident all the way through her appearances and emerged with great credit.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine and eight.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK? 

Her second appearance, though good, was probably a mistake as she was magnificent first time round and peaked there and then. Best let her stay on a high.

APPEARED:

• Series 9, Episode 8 (with Ian Hislop) 1995

KNOWN AS:

Veteran comedian from the BBC Radio sketch show "The Goons" who is still performing despite his frailty.  Prince Charles' favourite comic.

INTRODUCTION:

Angus said Milligan got into trouble for famously calling Prince Charles a "grovelling little bastard" at the Comedy Awards, though he had now been hired to write Diana's speeches.

BEST QUOTE:

On a man who has planted landmines in his garden to deter intruders, Milligan said: "He hasn't caught a burglar yet but he has lost his left arm."

ANECDOTES:

Told of how he was hauled up in court in 1974 for attacking two burglars who were trying to steal from his garden hut.  He had a gun and told them to 'keep still'.

GIVEN A HARD TIME? 

Only by himself.  In typically Milligan fashion, he managed to blurt out something surreal at inopportune moments and then cover his eyes in a fit of giggles afterwards.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

He is elderly, frail and slurred but still made Ian corpse on at least one occasion, proving that his mind was still sharp, even if physically he is on the decline.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Milligan is written into comedy legend in the UK and his gags and sketches will be repeated and remembered for generations to come.  Therefore, when he now appears on TV, he can get away with just about anything (the insult to Prince Charles apparently amused the Royal household) so to get by he just used his sense of surrealism, combined with a bolshie tone associated with all people of advanced years, and it worked.  He didn't have to think too hard or be a dominating figure - he is Spike Milligan, after all.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? 

Yes.  He would probably do it if asked back, as he is keen to remain on television until he drops, and it's always intriguing just what sort of anti-PC truths or bizarre gobbledegook he will come out with.

APPEARED:

• Series 10, Episode 2 (with Ian Hislop) 1995

APPEARED:

• Series 14, Episode 6 (with Paul Merton) 1997

KNOWN AS:
The man who played mouthy bigot Alf Garnett in the classic BBC1 sitcoms "Til Death Us Do Part" and "In Sickness And In Health".  Recently played a chief in BBC2 fantasy drama "Gormenghast".

INTRODUCTION:

Angus said that thanks to Alf Garnett, Mitchell was known as a West Ham supporting bigoted loudmouth, unlike in real life as he supports Spurs.

BEST QUOTE: None.

ANECDOTES:

Told of how he gave up smoking after he was ill in a hospital bed and prayed to God that he would never have another cigarette if he was allowed to live, though he may enjoy a joint or two.  Also revealed that he was forced to wear a wig in a film co-starring Telly Savalas, as the 'Kojak' star insisted on being the only bald man in the film.  Mitchell said he pointed out to the director that he was still a better actor than Savalas.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?

Not at all.  Clearly they made the distinction that he was not Alf Garnett, something that many brain-dead people still can't do to this day.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Those eyebrows! Must have been growing them for a film.  He did go into 'Alf' mode for a brief moment, complete with East End accent and shouty delivery, in order to go on about foreigners when a question was asked about a Frenchman.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Mitchell is a wonderful actor - a documentary made recently about him by the BBC opened many people's eyes about his qualities - but as a raconteur and humorist in his OWN right, he has some way to go.  He was fascinating and likeable, but in a rotten news week he and the other participants had little to go on.  Disappointing, but not entirely his fault.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Six.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?

Get him on the show in the week Britain finally joins the European single currency, and given him a claret and blue scarf! He still plays Garnett when asked (he did An Audience With Alf not so long back) so it should be quite fun! As himself, he is worthy of another go providing the news week gives him and the others sufficient ammunition.  He was unlucky the first time round that it didn't.

Bob MONKHOUSE

APPEARED:

• Series 7, Episode 3 (with Ian Hislop) 1994

• Series 14, Episode 1 (with Ian Hislop) 1997

 
KNOWN AS:

Consummate comedian with a long history of game show presenting.  Also recently hosted BBC1's "National Lottery Show".
 
INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus quoted Monkhouse as saying that comedy was just like sex, so expect him to be incredible for five minutes and then fall asleep for the rest of the show; on his second appearance, Angus said that when Monkhouse tried to play the Comedy Store 15 years ago, he was greeted with relentless cries of 'sod off Monkhouse', and they had managed to track down a lot of those people to be in the audience tonight.
 
BEST QUOTE:
"It's very interesting that if you rearrange the letters that spell 'Michael Portillo', they come out as 'I talk bollocks'.  Obviously that's give or take a letter."

ANECDOTES:
The truth of these is dubious, but Monkhouse claimed he once took marijuana but felt no effects, as he was on coke at the time.  He also claimed his second son was taking drugs, and they were "my best ones too".  Jokes, not anecdotes, but it saves writing the word 'none'.  He did also reveal that the Guardian described him as a 'cult'.  The audience's laughter made sure he didn't need to explain the supposed misprint.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Ian had a little dig when Monkhouse was a little too detailed in his answers, as if he was trying to educate people.  Ian double-checked whether Monkhouse presented "Newsnight" instead of "Celebrity Squares".  Fellow guest Ken Livingstone called his jokes 'awful' during a Missing Words round, and when he asked Paul if he was the one who had stolen his famous joke book, Paul replied: "Yes.  I was arrested for receiving stolen goods."

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
For his first appearance, Monkhouse wore one of the brightest suits ever seen on the show, a sort of lime green effort with semi-matching tie.  Monkhouse also had the rather odd habit of continuing to answer old questions when the programme had moved on to different topics.
 
COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Monkhouse is indisputably one of the world's finest comedians and despite his penchant for game shows that would ruin a lesser career, he has stayed at the top of the pile because of his wonderful delivery and insistence on moving with the times.  He stole the show when he first appeared, with a generous blend of topical and word-play gags of which he has mastered the art for many years.  Not quite so devastating second time round, but still a brilliant guest.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Nine and seven.

Dermot MORGAN (Deceased)

APPEARED:

• Series 11, Episode 2 (with Ian Hislop) 1996

• Series 14, Episode 3 (with Ian Hislop) 1997

KNOWN AS:
Irish actor and comedian who played the title role in Channel 4's hugely successful parochial sitcom "Father Ted".  Died in 1998 after suffering a heart attack at a family barbecue.
 
INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said that Morgan was one of the stars of "Father Ted" who has shocked viewers in Ireland by portraying an Irish priest as a sober, God-fearing person with no sex life; on his second appearance, Angus said Morgan was a lapsed Catholic who had Hell described to him in great detail when he was five, so many aspects of the show will already be familiar to him.

BEST QUOTE:
On Princess Diana observing a heart operation, Morgan said: "Doesn't she style herself now as the Queen of Hearts? So at the next operation, she'll be the Queen of Kidneys."
 
ANECDOTES: None.
 
GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.
 
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

His knowledge of history during his second appearance was phenomenal, leading Ian into commenting that it was the most educational episode of the show he had appeared on.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Morgan was a terrific, biting comic who transferred to acting with great ease and phenomenal success, and his talents came across pretty well in both appearances on the show, with the second one having the added bonus of the very droll Francis Wheen on the other side.  He got on very well with Ian and found everyone else in the studio amusing, but was still quick to create the laughs for himself.  It was such a devastating shame when his life was cut short so young. 

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and a half and nine.

Neil MORRISSEY

APPEARED:

• Series 10, Episode 5 (with Ian Hislop) 1995

• Series 11, Episode 4 (with guest captain Martin Clunes) 1996

KNOWN AS:

Actor who shot to fame as biker Rocky in ITV drama "Boon", later to become one of the most familiar faces on TV with his role in BBC1 sitcom "Men Behaving Badly".  Does a lot of advertising voice-overs and is now one of television's most in-demand actors.

INTRODUCTION:

First time round, Angus quoted Morrissey as saying that he believed that the TV star with the most sex appeal was Mariella Frostrup, which disappointed Ian as he hoped it would be him; on his second appearance, Angus said Morrissey received sackfuls of letters from girls every week, asking where he gets his hair done.

BEST QUOTE:

When shown film footage of Camilla Parker-Bowles on a horse, Morrissey said: "Camilla's getting a piggyback ride from a close relative."

ANECDOTES:

Not really an anecdote, but he did reveal that he lived in a top-floor flat which wasn't a penthouse.

GIVEN A HARD TIME? No.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

He flirted wonderfully with fellow guest Teresa Gorman, with some considerable audience encouragement.  She seemed to like it.  He looked much more relaxed and comfortable in his second appearance, however, as he was sitting next to his friend and acting colleague Martin Clunes.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER: