EPISODE 1:

"Good evening and welcome to 'Have I Got News For You' and the start of BBC2's Comedy Zone...is in half an hour."

FIRST BROADCAST: 17th April 1999
TEAMS: Ian Hislop & Richard Whiteley; Paul Merton & David Aaronovitch

ROUND ONE - FILM CLIPS:

Ian & Richard:  The Kosovo conflict

Paul & David:   Rupert Murdoch's bid to buy Manchester United

Ian & Richard:   Truckers block roads to protest at fuel prices

Paul & David:   Couple get married after radio competition

Scores: Ian & Richard 4; Paul & David 4

ROUND TWO - ODD ONE OUT:

Paul - Robert Robinson; Jeremy Paxman; Michael Winner; Richard Whiteley
(Robinson, as all the others were editors of Varsity)

David - Idi Amin; Winston Churchill; Colonel Gadaffi; Colonel Sanders
(Sanders, as all the others were trained at Sandhurst)

Ian - Tony Banks; Pythagoras; Paco Rabanne; Glenn Hoddle

(Banks, as all the others believe in reincarnation)

Richard - Robbie Williams; Prince Charles; Alan Milburn; Carol Vorderman
(Vorderman, as all the others failed their maths O-level)

Scores: Ian & Richard 11; Paul & David 4

ROUND THREE - THE NUMBERS GAME:

Each player selected a card from a grid which showed a number and a clue. After answering the question, the players were asked, in "Countdown" fashion (complete with theme music) to come up with a mystery total using those numbers.

Paul - Queen Mother, 4 - £4 million overdraft

David - John Prescott, 28 - 28 seconds at a photocall on Peterborough railway station

Richard - Chris Woodhead, 17 - affair with a 17 year old pupil

Ian - BRIT award, 75 - 75 MPs attended this year's award

Mystery Total: 283 (75 x 4 = 300, - 17 = 283)

Scores: Ian & Richard 13; Paul & David 6

ROUND FOUR - MISSING WORDS:

Guest Publication: NONE

NATO NEEDS __________

JACKSON'S __________ WITH FAYED

CAT EATING GIANT OWL LEADS TO __________

CLINTON IS FOUND IN __________

Final Scores: Ian & Richard 17; Paul & David 8

*A conundrum was shown - PHANIOILS. Richard guessed correctly at IAN HISLOP.

EPISODE 2:

"Good evening and welcome to the show which, according to the Daily Telegraph science pages, has a limited appeal to certain viewers. 'People whose brains have smaller frontal lobes have trouble getting 'Have I Got News For You's smart alec punchlines, preferring physical humour of the Benny Hill kind.' So just for those viewers, here's a sneak preview of round two." (clip shown of the trio chasing a scantily-clad nurse around the studio at increased speed with the 'Benny Hill' theme tune)

FIRST BROADCAST: 24th April 1999
TEAMS: Ian Hislop & Paul Daniels; Paul Merton & Charlie Whelan

ROUND ONE - FILM CLIPS/TABLOID HEADLINES:

Paul & Charlie:   Government accuses BBC of Serb bias in Kosovo coverage

Ian & Paul:   The Queen visits Korea

Paul & Charlie:  ‘RRRUFF JUSTICE FOR SCHOOLKIDS’

Headmaster hires sniffer dog to find drugs at his school

Ian & Paul:  ‘STRAW 0, LIVERPOOL 1 (STRAW OG)’

Jack Straw claims Scousers are always up to something

Scores: - Ian & Paul 4; Paul & Charlie 4

ROUND TWO - SPIN DOCTORING:

Paul & Charlie - the Conservatives introduce their 'kitchen table' theory

Ian & Paul - Gordon Brown photocall at nursery school

Scores: Ian & Paul 6; Paul & Charlie 6

ROUND THREE - ODD ONE OUT:

Paul M - Elvis Presley; Ann Widdecombe; Theodore Roosevelt; Gyles Brandreth
(Roosevelt, as all the others collect teddy bears)

Charlie - Peter Cook; Tony Blair; a grey seal; a Bay City Roller

(Blair, as all the others saved people from drowning)

Ian - Peter Mandelson; Ron Atkinson; Charlie Whelan; the Royal yacht Britannia

(Mandelson, as all the others lost their jobs as a result of Charlie Whelan's spins)

Paul D - Chief Lonewolf; Tammy Wynette; Tsar Nicholas II; Paul Daniels
(Daniels, as all the others were exhumed)

Scores: Ian & Paul 6; Paul & Charlie 12

ROUND FOUR - MISSING WORDS:

Guest Publication: ABRACADABRA

CAT'S £20,000 __________

__________ WILL AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS

BRITISH __________ ARE PEAR SHAPED

__________ TO MAKE SITCOMS FUNNY

Final Scores: Ian & Paul 12; Paul & Charlie 14

EPISODE 3:

"Hello and welcome to 'Have I Got News For You', unless you are a channel hopper, in which case, goodbye."

FIRST BROADCAST: 31st April 1999
TEAMS: Ian Hislop & Trevor Phillips; Paul Merton & Bill Bailey

ROUND ONE - FILM CLIPS:

Paul & Bill:   SNP recruits Sean Connery for devolution campaign

Ian & Trevor:   The continuing Kosovo conflict

Paul & Bill:   Prince Charles supports Chris Woodhead's role as chief schools inspector

Ian & Trevor:   Tories declare caring nature and support for public services

Scores: Ian & Trevor 4; Paul & Bill 4

ROUND TWO - SILHOUETTOMETER:

*Silhouettes of famous London landmarks

Trevor - Lord Mayor's offices

Bill - the MI6 building

Ian - the new Westminster office block

Paul - Richard Curtis's house

Scores: Ian & Trevor 10; Paul & Bill 8

ROUND THREE - ODD ONE OUT:

Paul - Ken Livingstone; Gerry Adams; Tam Dalyell; Lucy the labrador

(Adams, as all the others have been banned from the Commons)

Bill - Walt Disney; Margaret Thatcher; Benny & Bjorn; IKEA

(Benny & Bjorn, as all the others loathe beards)

Ian - Sinead O'Connor; Slobodan Milosevic; Lily Langtree; John Gummer
(O'Connor, as all the others are the children of clergymen)

Trevor - Lord Hailsham; the Queen Mother; Michael Bentine; Trevor Phillips
(the Queen Mother, as all the others have danced with the Queen Mother)

Scores: Ian & Trevor 14; Paul & Bill 10

ROUND FOUR - MISSING WORDS:

Guest Publication: ELEVATOR WORLD

A THIRD OF US DON'T KNOW __________

TWO TON RHINO MAKES __________

I FOUND IT AT __________ .COM

__________ ALL THE RAGE IN POMPEII

Final Scores: Ian & Trevor 16; Paul & Bill 11

EPISODE 4:

"Good evening and welcome to 'Have I Got News For You', the quiz show where the contestants get a chance to win a million pounds, as we've bought them all a lottery ticket."

FIRST BROADCAST: 7th May 1999
TEAMS: Ian Hislop & Peter Hitchens; Paul Merton & Clarissa Dickson-Wright

ROUND ONE - FILM CLIPS:

Ian & Peter:   Continuing conflict in Kosovo

Paul & Clarissa:   The Scottish and Welsh devolution elections

Ian & Peter:   BA stewardess streaked in plane after losing bet about its landing time

Paul & Clarissa:   Body of mountaineer George Mallory finally found on Everest

Scores: Ian & Peter 4; Paul & Clarissa 4

ROUND TWO - FOUR COURSE MEAL:

Ian & Peter - melons - survey states that women buy melons according to their own breast size

Paul & Clarissa - meat pies and Norwich City scarf - TV chef and Norwich director Delia Smith wants to get rid of the half-time meat pie at football matches

Ian & Peter - potatoes and rats - GM potatoes fed to rats which then died

Paul & Clarissa - blue Stilton - cheese rolling contest banned and then allowed back after outcry

Scores: Ian & Peter 10; Paul & Clarissa 8

ROUND THREE - ODD ONE OUT:

Paul - Princess Anne; Ivana Trump; Menzies Campbell; Bobby Davro

(Davro, as all the others competed in the Olympic Games)

Clarissa - a Range Rover; £20,000; half a dozen lobsters; Kevin Keegan
(Keegan, as all the others were gifts to MPs from Mohamed Al Fayed)

Ian - Ann Widdecombe; Clarissa Dickson-Wright; Greg Dyke; Martin Bell

(Dyke, as all the others do not own TV sets)

Peter - Geri Halliwell; Peter Mandelson; Captain Oates; the Terminator
(Oates, as all the others said "I'll be back")

Scores: Ian & Peter 11; Paul & Clarissa 13

ROUND FOUR - MISSING WORDS:

Guest Publication: NONE

DRAMA OVER FARMER'S __________

__________ GETS ADULTERERS OFF THE HOOK

KANGAROOS PUT ON __________

MASONS FACE __________

Final Scores: Ian & Peter 14; Paul & Clarissa 16

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