Pictured:  Oona King

Gerald KAUFMAN MP

Charles KENNEDY MP

• Series 3, Episode 4 (with Paul Merton) 1992

• Series 4, Episode 2 (with Paul Merton) 1992

• Series 11, Episode 1 (with guest captain Eddie Izzard) 1996

• Series 16, Episode 7 (with Ian Hislop) 1998

• Series 20, Episode 3 (with Paul Merton) 2000

KNOWN AS:
Liberal Democrat front bench MP who became party leader in 1999.

INTRODUCTION:
First time round, Angus said Kennedy had been described as one of the few sane people in the House of Commons, though that was by David Icke; on his second appearance, Angus mentioned that Kennedy started in the Labour Party, then went to the SDP before becoming a Liberal, so he may end up on Ian's team; on his third appearance, Angus said that Kennedy decided as a young man that he wanted to walk the corridors of power, but then changed his mind and became a liberal; On his fourth appearance, Angus quoted Kennedy as saying that on the issue of whether he would ever stand for the Liberal Democrat leadership, he "would not rule anything out or anything in", so the party's policy appeared to be safe in his hands; fifth time round, Angus said that five years ago, Kennedy was so unknown that he was introduced to Nelson Mandela as a violinist, when is fact he was a cellist.
 
BEST QUOTE:
When asked by Angus what John Prescott's response to the heavy flooding was, Kennedy replied: "Unintelligible?"

ANECDOTES: None.
 
GIVEN A HARD TIME?
In his first two appearances, headlines concerning his leader Paddy Ashdown's marital infidelity came up and Kennedy had to be facially rigid and not laugh, which both Ian and Paul picked up on. Kennedy was also badgered about challenging Ashdown in a leadership contest though got out of it brilliantly by looking at Angus's camera and reading the autocue. A clip of him missing ten skittles completely during a ten-pin bowling game at an old folk's home was dug out to humiliate him further, though inevitably he took it the right way. Angus said Kennedy was like Charlie Dimmock, as "both are visibly lacking support" and also revealed that you knew when someone was listening in on a LibDem meeting in Kennedy's office at the House of Commons, as there was a thud outside followed by a gentle snoring.
 
OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
In quite brilliant fashion, Kennedy twice went into election speech mode when he and Paul were behind on points, claiming he was still encouraged and there would be a shift in opinion before the end of the show.  When he said it was a good basis on which to build, Paul played along, adding that they were second.  Kennedy replied: "We'd have been very happy with second!" Had a minor and playful argument with his captain Eddie Izzard during his third appearance over who was contributing most to answering the questions. When asked in separate episodes about his party's view on a subject, he brilliantly twice replied: "We're still considering our position", and used a similar tag when asked about his party's view on the flooding, replying: "We're very concerned."

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Though not the most high-profile politician to guest on the show, Kennedy has pulled off the neat trick of being the politician most famous for appearing on "Have I Got News For You".  Much reference was made by snobby hacks about his liking for light-hearted TV shows when he was going for the LibDem leadership, which will have pleased the programme's PR department no end. Kennedy clearly wasn't going to let traditionalists and critics stop him from doing something he clearly enjoyed and the fact that he was regularly invited back shows that his contributions worked and didn't go unnoticed. Quick, charismatic, shameless and an active participant, he fulfilled all the criteria needed for a good guest and more. A great showman who also brought a good deal of humility and normality into the much-hyped world of politicians. The best political guest in the programme's history by a country mile. 

MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Nine; nine; eight; nine; nine.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
In truth, we never thought he'd go back on in a million years once he became party leader, but the fact that he did and took no end of ribbing shows a what a fine character the man is. The viewer will always welcome him back, as he is one of the programme's legends.

Peter KILFOYLE MP

APPEARED:

• Series 19, Episode 4 (with Paul Merton) 2000

KNOWN AS:

Labour MP in Liverpool who resigned as a Defence Minister in the Blair Government in 2000 due to differing opinions about the party's direction.

INTRODUCTION:

Angus used the aged stereotype of the honesty of Scousers when he said that Kilfoyle had driven from his home in Liverpool to appear, but wanted to point out that the show was recorded and therefore his house wasn't empty.

BEST QUOTE:

When told that Tony Blair spent his Bank Holiday writing a 975-word letter to the Sun, Kilfoyle replied: "Are there 975 words IN the Sun?"

ANECDOTES:

Told of how he was in a rock band called The Hungry I's which played the Cavern Club in the early 60s, during the Beatles era.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?

Not especially.  Angus asked him about his loyalty to the party over the Livingstone Mayoral fiasco and about the supposed clamouring for Kilfoyle to become Mayor of Liverpool, but he just shrugged it off.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS: None.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Kilfoyle appeared in an episode which also featured Angela Rippon, with whom Angus was so smitten that he got less of a look-in than expected.  Considering he was one of the few Labour MPs who had put his principles before his ambitions and therefore resigned from the Blair administration, he wasn't greatly quizzed.  He answered the questions with a degree of monotony, and rarely opened up, though got on well with Paul and bellowed out a few laughs on occasions.  A hit and miss performance, but credit goes to him for being relaxed and not being politically sycophantic to his party or leader, a la Glenda Jackson.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?

He may be worth another go, but it's unlikely he'll be semi-topical again, so the chances are he's made his first and last appearance all at once.

Oona KING MP

APPEARED:

• Series 15, Episode 7 (with Paul Merton) 1998

KNOWN AS:
Labour MP and a high-profile black politician.

INTRODUCTION:
Angus said King wanted to be Prime Minister at the age of five, which led to an unpleasant playground punch-up with William Hague.

BEST QUOTE:
When Angus mentioned she had ambitions to be an air-hostess and Prime Minister too, King replied: "Now I just want to be an air-hostess."

ANECDOTES:
She revealed that she was the niece of famed TV doctor Miriam Stoppard.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Ian made his usual digs at the Labour Party's activities since coming to power, and she looked embarrassed when Angus revealed that her famous aunt once cooked a placenta on television.  She tried to get party political on occasions, but only light-heartedly, as Ian wouldn't let her.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS: 

Close behind Martin Young and Baz Bamigboye in the 'brilliant laugh' stakes.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
King was fun and realised quickly that she wasn't on the show to score political points (unlike many other politicians who have appeared) which served her well through not one of the better episodes of the show ever made.  She was lively, bright and humorous, and Paul seemed to like her but the whole episode was forgettable through no-one's fault.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Seven

SHOULD THEY INVITE HER BACK? Yes.

Neil KINNOCK MP

KNOWN AS:  Leader of the Labour Party between 1983 and 1992. Now a European Commissioner for Transport.

INTRODUCTION:

Lord LAWSON

KNOWN AS:
As Nigel Lawson, he was a Conservative MP and a long-standing Chancellor of the Exchequer in the Thatcher government who famously resigned after she refused his demand to sack one of her economic advisors. Moved to the House of Lords after the 1992 election.

INTRODUCTION:

Having just introduced Mark Little as the other guest, Angus then called Lawson 'the former Mr Large' and added that his diet book was currently number two in the bestsellers' list, just behind Delia Smith's guide to economic theory.

BEST QUOTE: When Angus told of how two politicians had a bruise on the same fingernail, Lawson retorted: "That's the most boring piece of news I have ever heard."

ANECDOTES:

None really, though he was good at refuting suggestions made by Angus and Ian, in that he said that the circumstances of his resignation over Thatcher's financial advisor was "not quite true" and that contrary to Angus's information, he had never been interviewed in the BBC radio car in his pyjamas. Did reveal he wore a nightshirt in bed, however.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?

Ian had the expected pop but for once with a high-profile Conservative, it was all rather light-hearted. He looked undisturbed when Angus deliberately misread his former job "to run the economy" as "to ruin the economy".

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Enjoyed himself without ever really showing it. He allowed himself the odd chuckle and a frequent smile, but never really broke into full-scale laughter. He appeared after losing a phenomenal amount of weight, making him almost unrecognisable from the rotund figure who ran the nation's finances for much of the 1980s, and got a terrific plug in for his diet book during the Odd One Out round.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

Lawson looked way too relaxed for a Conservative politician, many of whom have appeared nervous and humourless on the show. He breezed through the recording effortlessly, with the odd sharp comment here and sly dig there, and was totally confident in dealing with the inevitable put-downs from Angus and Ian. He also took the quiz element seriously enough to check the scores before the very last headline in the Missing Words round was revealed, and immediately came up with the right answer before anyone else could leap in with a comedy alternative. As the others then said what they thought it might have been, Lawson picked up his water and calmly announced: "I thought we needed a point", which they did, winning by one point in the end. An assured, comfortable, honest and victorious display.

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?

No. He was such a success that there is no need to rock the boat of that performance.

Ken LIVINGSTONE MP

KNOWN AS:

Left-wing Labour MP and former head of the Greater London Council who left the party in 2000 to stand as an independent for Mayor of London, to which he was duly elected.  Announced in 2000 that he would not be seeking re-election to Parliament.

INTRODUCTION:
No details of his first appearance; second time round, Angus said he was the man who made the GLC what it is today - a hotel; on his third appearance, Angus read three descriptions of Livingstone, which were "uproarious", "a practiced politician" - and "a stupid prat", the last of which came from his then leader Neil Kinnock; on his fourth appearance, Angus quoted Livingstone as saying his party's policy programme was 'as solid as a blancmange', adding that if it was anything like his school  blancmange it was pretty solid; fifth time round, Angus said Livingstone had betrayed the Labour Party by not abandoning his principles; on his sixth appearance, Angus described Livingstone as 'the official leader of the Labour Party'.

BEST QUOTE:
"I'm afraid you won't get anything out of a Labour MP this close to the election. It's going to be seven months of complete bullshit."

ANECDOTES:
Told of how he didn't stay for the whole debate on Passports for Pets because he was drawn by "the attraction of a warm bed - anybody's".  Gave some insight into how the show is prepared when he read a "formal notice" sent by the BBC to the House of Commons to warn him of what Angus would be wearing so there was no colour clash.  Told of how he was refused permission to ride on a London bus by a conductor because his pass contained an old photo of when he still had a moustache.  He smiled sweetly and said it was satisfying when Ian asked him if he was pleased he had beaten Peter Mandelson in a Labour Party vote towards the candidature for London Mayor.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?
Relentlessly, but playfully.  When he tried to convince Angus that Paul had given a correct answer in the Missing Words round, Ian snapped back: "And we're meant to believe you are we Ken?". Livingstone merely protested that he was unsurprised as he was a politician.  Ian also criticised his choice of tweed jacket.  In general, Livingstone got frequent but good-natured stick because he was never the favourite of the Labour hierarchy.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
Was competitive enough to suggest to Paul that they "go for it" just before the Missing Words round and then complain bitterly to his captain afterwards when they lost.  As the applause died down, he was heard to say "I shall complain to the United Nations".  Has one of the loudest laughs the show has ever heard, and used it frequently.  He sported a moustache on his first three appearances, which had been shaved off when he guested for the fourth time.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Livingstone is one of those left wing politicians who seems to command total respect - or at least, a degree of begrudging likeability - even from those who don't share his political viewpoints, and he was treated very well on the show.  With his slightly whiney London tone, he showed a fine level of sarcasm and satire in his answers and got some cracking gags out, particularly on the subject of selling arms to Iraq.  It is hardly surprising that he is the politician who has appeared on the show more than any other.  Indeed, his six appearances is the record for one guest in the show's history.

MARKS OUT OF TEN:
Unable to score his first appearance; nine; eight; eight; eight; eight.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?
The show would be a perfect tool for him to vent his anger on the Labour Party's methods of omitting him from the Mayoral campaign, so yes.  Particularly as he clearly enjoys the show and would be back like a shot, not to mention the fact that he still became Mayor anyway.

Bob MARSHALL-ANDREWS MP

KNOWN AS: Outspoken Labour MP who won't toe the party line if he feels it necessary.

INTRODUCTION:
Angus said Marshall-Andrews was the founder of a political club called The Old Testament Prophets, whose members enjoy good food, conversation and long walks through the Red Sea.

BEST QUOTE:
On the House of Commons pigeons: "We're permanently trying to get rid of the pigeons. We put de-stabilising ointment on the ledges, sort of similar to what we're doing to the Liberal Democrats."

ANECDOTES:
Told of how after the election, Peter Mandelson produced a list of 40 Labour MPs who could be regarded as troublemakers, including one MP with two PhDs who was regarded as 'mentally unstable'. He also told of how he deliberately offended the Lord Chancellor at a dinner in his presence by telling a joke at his expense.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?
He was ridiculed over his house, an underground post-modern example of architecture which looked exactly like something which the Teletubbies would live in. When informed one neighbour had criticised the house, he told Angus to 'name them!'.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:
A very menacing and scary man indeed, but great fun. He also seemed to be one of those people who 'laughed inwardly' in that he showed his approval at some of the jokes without actually smiling, except when Paul cracked a rhyming pun about a public school and Marshall-Andrews laughed and applauded.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:
Where did this man come from? And why the hell did they wait until Series 16 to invite him on? Granted, he was probably at his most devastating with his party in power - Labour were in opposition for the first 12 series' - but even so, a man with his principles and refusal to be sycophantic to his bosses is a Godsend to a show like this, particularly as less and less politicians are willing to be quite so independent and put their own beliefs before what they are told they must say and do. Marshall-Andrews was cynical, scathing, beautifully satirical and scared the hell out everyone, but in a relaxed and thoroughly enjoyable way. There is a national treasure in the Commons after all, rather than the bunch of faceless and incompetent morons who we normally see on the TV. More like him, please!

MARKS OUT OF TEN:  Nine and a half.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK?   Absolutely.

Austin MITCHELL MP

KNOWN AS:

Talkative backbench Labour MP and ex-journalist

INTRODUCTION:

Angus said Mitchell once criticised the Government for pandering to Rupert Murdoch, shortly before he started his twice-weekly show for Sky.

BEST QUOTE:

After succumbing to collapsed, hollering laughter when an attempt at a joke failed, he turned to Paul and said: "What's it like to have a real comedian on the show?!" before burying his head in his hands.

ANECDOTES: None.

GIVEN A HARD TIME?

Well, he was prepared to laugh at just about anything, which is exactly what he did when Ian completed the headline ____NOT KNOWN TO BLAIR with 'Austin Mitchell'. He also corpsed when Paul, who had just seen him collapse into fits of giggles, asked him: "Would you like someone
to come and sit with you?"

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

That laugh. Baz Bamigboye and Martin Young have nothing on this guy, whose laughter was capable of blowing the audience out of the room and the roof off the studio. It's a wonder there was enough oxygen in the building to accommodate his abundant gasps for breath.

COMMENTS FROM THE WEBMASTER:

He wasn't the most effective political guest, but certainly he seemed to have the most fun than any of his Parliamentary colleagues when he appeared. Mitchell is a salt-of-the-earth politician who
sticks to his beliefs rather than toe the party line, and is therefore quite prepared to laugh at anyone or anything which amuses him, even if it goes against his party's standards. That's an ideal politician for a show like this. And that laugh makes him all the more memorable!

MARKS OUT OF TEN: Eight.

SHOULD THEY INVITE HIM BACK? Have an inhaler on standby, as Mitchell has to make a return!

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