A: So we spring eternal into our final Missing Words round. Two swatches of sensational headlines each with an offending part tastefully removed. Guess the part, or parts, and the points are literally in the bag. For added confusion this week, we have decided to throw in a couple of headlines from "Wild About Animals" magazine, just for the sheer joy of it. So Ian and Tony, you are currently flailing at the moment, so you get to start with:
I: Off-licence?
T: Kid On The Block.
I: New idea about how the economy was going all right all along.
A: It is in fact SHINER, a new shiner.
Next:
T: Next year.
P: High-speed link?
R: (nodding) High-speed link.
I: Recovery.
T: Premature ejection.
A: High-speed link; I'll give you one for that - TUNNEL LINK is in fact the
answer.
Next:
R: Good talking to.
A: That's the polite answer.
No.
P: Chat show?
I: Good seeing to.
A: That's the rude answer.
I: She wants a new detective - she wants a role.
A: I though that was what you meant actually!
No, A RECONCILIATION is the answer.
I: What rubbish.
A: Next:
R: Earl's Court.
T: Chessboard?
I: Jason Donovan.
A: No, that's plainly not true, is it?
I: No!
I'm sorry, I meant to say Elton John.
My tongue just...
A: I don't think you would if you want to stay this side of a quarter of a
million pounds.
I: No, that's for his bulimia, which he doesn't have.
And very silly of the Mirror to say so.
Cost them 350 thousand pounds.
You see, bulimia does exist as a disease.
RSI, if you sue your employer because you've got a bad back you get
absolutely bugger all because the judge doesn't believe you.
If you're Elton John you get 350 grand.
R: I don't understand the problem with bulimia - you eat, you vomit, you eat
again - I mean, sounds like a good life to me!
A: Do you want to know the answer to this question?
Not really!
I'll tell you - QUEENS MOVE IN ON KITTENS.
There you are, that's from "Wild About Animals" for you.
T: Is this a magazine you get weekly Angus - "Wild About Animals"?
A: Not weekly no, because it comes out every fortnight.
T: Does it?
I: Still gives you Repetitive Strain Injury doesn't it?!
A: Depends what animals are in that week!
P: Do they have pin-ups?
Like a sort of cheeky little cocker spaniel - 'take me for a walk any
day'!
PICTURED: Paul's interpretation of a 'cheeky
little cocker spaniel'.
A: And lastly:
P: Air?
A: Is not right.
I: Halibut, skate - are we still in the animal mag?
A: No, we've moved on from that!
T: Initiative.
A: Initiative - ULSTER INITIATIVE is in fact the answer but as you're so far
behind I'll give you a couple.
Right, Paul and Roy, here are your teasers:
T: A rabbit.
R: Extension to Tate Gallery.
A: Yes, I'll give you that
I: Could be turned into a power station couldn't it?
It'd be new.
P: False teeth depot, something like that?
I: Privatised train.
A: An interesting idea of people trying to guess it after they have got the
right answer!
Next:
P: Puffins and sparrows.
It sounds like a gentleman's outfitters, doesn't it?
'Puffins and Sparrows - waistcoats for the gentry'.
A: A bit like it.
P: It's different for phone consumers, Mercury and British Telecom.
They have different bills because one's Mercury and one's British
Telecom.
A: It's a good answer; you were closer with the first one as it's actually...
Next:
R: Underpants.
I: Yes, I've found my own true love.
It's myself.
A: NEW LOVE is in fact the...
I: Funny how he finds a new love every time he's got a film coming out isn't
it?
A: Is that libellous?
I: No.
Trust me!
A: Well, in that case, yes it is funny how that always happens.
Next:
P: Brazilian transsexual.
Met him at a party, won't leave him alone...
A: Not unless you know something...
R: Virginia Bottomley?
P: Defence cuts.
A: Yes, defence cuts was the nearest.
CLARKE AXE is in fact the answer.
And finally...
I: Not very near 'defence cuts' is it?
A: Not really, no!
P: Junction?
R: Khyber.
I: Job Centre.
P: Bridal path.
T: Arsenal!
A: Were you sneezing?
T: Yes I was!
A: Oh, right!
Astonishingly yes, BRIDAL PATH is precisely the answer.
I: (scathing) Bridal path!
A: Which suggestive behaviour brings us...
I: Anyone would think he was a horse.
A: Which suggestive behaviour...
P: He might end up as a pin-up in "Wild About Animals"!
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