A: So let's mosey on down to our Odd One Out round, in which we show each of the
panellists a fab foursome. One of them stands out like a sore thumb, your job is
to tell us which one is the Ringo. Paul, we have gone easy on you this week -
Keith Richard, Fergie, Norman Tebbit, and Mike Smith.
PICTURED: Top: (L) Keith Richard; (R) Fergie
Bottom:
(L) Norman Tebbit; (R) Mike Smith
P:
It's helicopters, isn't it? Because Fergie wrote a book about helicopters, Mike
Smith's proved he can't fly a helicopter, Norman Tebbit's an ex-pilot or
something, and so Keith Richard is the odd one out.
I: They're all alive except Keith Richard!
A: Well, you're virtually right Paul. It's Keith Richard, as all the others have
pilot's licences.
P: I think that's what I said, so I am virtually right.
M: You did say that.
P: But thank you for giving it to me anyway!
A: You are so far in the lead, I'm not going to give you two points.
I: And Keith Richard can fly in his own front room!
A: Yes, Fergie has a pilot's licence, slightly cheaper to buy her own
aircraft and pay for the air fares for all her holidays. Norman Tebbit was an
airline pilot for BOAC, as you mentioned, so 'get on your plane and look for
work'. And Mike Smith has a helicopter's licence, but unfortunately no longer
has a helicopter. That's currently residing in an elm tree somewhere outside
Gloucester.
Michael, a multi-national conglomerate for you - Mikhail Gorbachev, Milton
Freedman, Mother Teresa of Calcutta and it's that man again!
PICTURED:
Top: (L) Mikhail Gorbachev; (R) Milton Freedman
Bottom: (L) Mother Teresa of Calcutta; (R) Saddam Hussein
M:
On the face of it, Mother Teresa is the only one who's won the Cheltenham Gold
Cup. Alternatively, alternatively, Gorbachev lives in Moscow, Freedman in
Chicago, Saddam Hussein probably in Baghdad, Mother Teresa in Calcutta - she's
again the odd one out. She's the only one whose city has a working lavatory.
Alternatively, alternatively...
P: She's the only one who wears a bath towel on her head!
M: Yes, she's just out of the shower. Saddam Hussein hasn't won a Nobel Prize -
yet.
A: Yes, absolutely right. Saddam Hussein is the only one not to have won a Nobel
Prize. Mysteriously overlooked by the judges.
Gorbachev won the Nobel Peace Prize for so humanely massacring a lot of
Lithuanians, economist Milton Freedman won the Nobel Prize for inflicting
monetarism on us, bless him. And Mother Teresa - or to give her her real name,
Agnes Bonxa Bijaxiu - won it the same year as she won the All-Calcutta
Shrivelled Walnut Lookalike Competition.
PICTURED:
Michael White shakes his head in disbelief...
A:
Steve...
I: I think that takes the...
PICTURED: ...while Stephen Frost gives the "thumbs-down" to
Angus...
I: Obviously the best target. Milton Freedman, Saddam Hussein - yeah, let's get
Mother Teresa, put the boot in! Shrivelled old walnut, what's she ever done? Go
on! Who's next? Albert Schweizer - bastard!
A: Steve, another cocktail for you.
S: Yeah.
A: Tony Benn, Tony Blackburn...
I: Got the link so far!
A: ...Ronald McDonald...
I: That's blown it!
A: ...and Emperor Becassa, the former central African dictator.
PICTURED:
Top: (L) Tony Benn; (R) Tony Blackburn
Bottom:
(L) Ronald McDonald; (R) Emperor Becassa
S:
Emperor Becassa, yeah. Er, Tony Blackburn, Tony Benn...the odd man out is Ronald
McDonald, as Mr Becassa's first name was Tony! Tony Becassa. I used to walk his
dogs for him, so I know.
P: That's right!
S: 'Where do you want the dogs today, Tony?'.
A: Nothing gets past you, does it? Er, I can't give you any marks for that, I'm
afraid.
I: I think - is this an eating joke?
A: Yes.
I: Emperor Becassa used to eat the remains of people in fridges. Ronald McDonald
used to get people to eat Big Macs...and the other two aren't connected at all!
A: The answer is that they're all vegetarians - it is an eating question.
PICTURED:
Ian and Stephen look
squeamish
They're
all vegetarians except Becassa, a number of whose enemies, when he was deposed,
were found in his fridge. Food that literally disagreed with him.
Tony Blackburn announced that meat was murder, but then so is listening to him
for any length of time, and actor Geoffrey Juliano, who plays Ronald McDonald in
the commercial, also decided to stop eating meat. I think it was around Take 37.
A: And finally Ian, four dashing young blades for you - Anthony Blunt, Lord
Kagan, Donald Sinden, and Guinness crook Jack Lyons.
PICTURED:
Top: (L) Anthony Blunt; (R) Lord Kagan
Bottom: (L) Donald Sinden; (R) Jack Lyons
I:
Right, well the link here is titles. Sir Anthony Blunt had his title stripped
when it was found out he was a leading homosexual...sorry, when it was found out
that he was a spy. Lord Kagan - he was a crook who hung around Harold Wilson.
Sir Jack Lyons - it's amazing the people politicians hang around with, isn't it?
And give their honours - he was one of the Guinness Four. And I suppose the
point about Donald Sinden is that he's never been offered a title.
A: And wouldn't he just love to be, yes.
Lord Kagan was stripped of his knighthood when he was convicted of theft and
false accounting, though interestingly he wasn't stripped of his lordship.
Clearly, being a lord and being a thief are regarded as entirely compatible.
Back to Top / Back to Transcripts Intro Page / Back to Intro Page
