A: Paul and Michael, some rich pickings for you.
PICTURED:
Film footage of Winston Churchill III, the Lottery and his late grandfather)
P: Churchill, the Churchill letters isn't it?
The Lottery money is buying the Churchill letters, and the speeches and
all that. There he is, pissed as
usual. Where am I?
Are we winning officer?
M: Paul, I was a great admirer of Winston Churchill and I saw him in the House.
P: What - your house?
I: Your house, yeah!
M: I was patriotic, not in the Army, but patriotic.
P: Yeah. An alcoholic though.
M: Yes he was. Pissed as a newt.
E: That suit at the end though - the suit just did not fit.
One of those suits that when you do the button up it should have said
"no! Leave the button
undone"!
PICTURED: Eddie emphasizes how "...the suit just
did not fit..."
I: I think that's probably the important thing to remember about the Second
World War - that his suit didn't fit!
P: You know, with the VE Day fiftieth anniversary coming up and stuff, I'm sick
of all these adverts for these records "Songs That Won The War.”
Why did we bother having an Army, if these songs won the war?
Send Vera Lynn out to Africa to sing a couple of choruses of "Roll
Out The Barrel" and the German Army say "We can't compete with these
lyrics"!
A: Yes, it's the use of 13 million pounds of National Lottery funds...
I: To go the Churchills. I know, it
is a disgrace.
P: Ha ha! Why is he just repeating
the answer two minutes later in the vain hope that somebody's forgotten I have
already said it?
I: Winston Churchill's papers, which should have been given free to the nation
anyway by this rather greedy family, have actually been sold off on the threat
that "oh by the way, we've got some interest from American academics and we
might flog it off to them". So
the National Lottery, instead of giving twelve million quid to, I don't know,
researching into cancer or saving small children who are dying, said "Oh
let's give Winston Churchill and his family twelve million quid".
Strikes me as rather revolting.
(huge applause)
PICTURED: Ian airs his views on the Lottery payouts...
I: Their grandfather would have had a fit.
And that's patriotism.
P: No, he would have had a drink!
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