A: For a brand new series an entirely new Round One. All the questions come
uniquely from this week's news. Ian and John...
PICTURED:
Film footage of General Pinochet, Chilean protestors, Margaret Thatcher with
William Hague and the burning of the Union Jack
J: Oh, it's Mrs Thatcher's human rights advisor.
I: Is it 'Pinochet' or 'Peenochet'? Like the drink - Pina Colada-chet?
J: It's 'Peenochet', yes. Of course, I think somebody pointed out he was Irish
and it's O'Shea.
I: I'm always worried about your foreign reports!
A: What was he doing over here?
J: Well, he was having his back done, or something.
I: And he was arrested...
J: He was arrested.
I: ...in the middle of the night, a tactic familiar to him! He'd been visiting
Mrs Thatcher.
J: Had tea.
A: Why are they particularly friendly?
I: Because they're lunatics!
A: I was thinking more of their alliance during the Falklands.
I: Yes. Apparently, if Chile hadn't helped us we would never have won, which I
don't remember at the time. Anyway, she wants him freed. Mrs Thatcher's very
upset he's been arrested.
J: Free the London One!
A: And how did he describe Britain before he was arrested?
J: He liked Britain, actually. He rather liked us I think. He liked our
electricity system of course - 220 volts really is, you know...!
A: He described it as 'the ideal place to live'.
I: Did he really?
J: Yes, since he's going to be here!
A: Just as well really! And what happened last time Thatcher went to
Chile? Do you remember?
J: No.
A: Okay, I'll show you. She was on a tour, a book tour, plugging her latest
book.
PICTURED:
Film footage of Thatcher fainting at the
lectern during her speech
P: Amazing how it gets a spontaneous round of applause!
I: She's maintained her popularity over the years!
A: This is the arrest in a London hospital of ex-Chilean dictator General
Pinochet. The arrest has been by Margaret Thatcher as at the outbreak of
the Falklands War, Pinochet provided crucial help to her Government. He told
them where the Falklands were.
Paul and Magnus, your chance to score.
PICTURED:
Film footage of the 'Blue Peter' title sequence, cocaine, Richard Bacon and the
show's producer explaining his dismissal. All accompanied by the Sailor's
Hornpipe and huge audience applause
P: I missed this one, didn't you? This is poor old Richard Bacon, is that his
name?
A: That was his name.
P: He got caught, or - I don't know - did someone grass him up?
M: I think he just happened to have some trouble with his nose.
P: Yes, and tried to cure it by taking loads of cocaine!
A: Yes. They've had a bit of a history.
P: Well, Christopher Trace, who was the first male presenter - didn't he have to
leave because he was a divorcee? Didn't he get divorced back in the sixties? And
this was considered a high old crime.
A: Well, Janet Ellis had to go because she was a single mother.
P: What's that got to do with Christopher Trace being a divorcee? That's like
saying 'would you like an apple? Well here's some porridge'. It's two completely
different things altogether.
I: But Angus hasn't a clue about Christopher Trace because it's not written on
his bit of paper!
P: Oh, I see!
A: Too long ago!
I: Unlike other question masters, he just didn't know the answer!
A: Yes! Magnus, what about Christopher Trace? Tell us!
M: There's a word trembling at the back of my mind - it's 'pass!'
A: What's your take on television presenters taking drugs?
J: Why do you ask me?
A: I seem to recall the last time you were on this programme you admitted to
taking hallucinogenic drugs in South America.
J: Er, well...that really...that really was in the course of duty. There were 14
people of restricted size with pieces of string tied round their willies...
PICTURED:
John explains his previous admission
P: No, you only THOUGHT there were!
PICTURED:
Paul makes his point known
J: Ah!
I: It does sound like 'Blue Peter' a bit.
J: It does sound a bit like 'Blue Peter', yes!
A: Yes, it's the 'Blue Peter' drug scandal, so well done to Paul and Magnus, and
here are your 'Blue Peter' badges as a result.
PICTURED: Angus hands over two badges...
P: Oh, lovely! Are these genuine?
PICTURED: ...which
Paul inspects closely
A: Yes, obviously!
M: You powder these up do you?!
P: It says on the back 'not suitable for children'!
A: Yes, 'Blue Peter's 40th anniversary was marred by the News Of The World's
story about presenter Richard Bacon, who this week left the BBC under a cloud.
He sneezed on his way out.
They're not certain where the presenter got his drugs from, but it's rumoured
that the 'Blue Peter' garden now has a street value of two hundred thousand
pounds.
Thousands of copies of this year's 'Blue Peter' annual have been hastily
withdrawn to ensure that certain embarrassing headlines would never reach they
viewing public. So here they are - first, on page 46, we have "STONE
ME". Then it's Richard's smiling face under the words "POT IT!",
and on page eight, the almost prophetic "BLUE PETER IN THE SNOW".
PICTURED: The 'Blue Peter' annual headlines
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